10 May 2007
ABU GONZALES REDUX: A 'WTF' TIDALWAVE
FILED UNDER: alberto gonzales, heehaw, lamar smith, starship troopers 0 comments
It should be noted that Alberto Gonzales, a man who's every utterance comes like a dedicated session of huffing paint and watching Starship Troopers on repeat, went before congress today and essentially said the same thing he said last time.
For those needing a summary of his prior testimony, it can be best described as, "I don't recall any of the brutally illegal things I've done while employed by the Bush Administration. Also, next time I'm going to wear a sombrero, further highlighting the inherent racism involved in you questioning me, a Mexican American attorney general, about the fact that I break the law every fucking day, sometimes every hour."
However, the story of the day appears to have migrated from the Attorney General to those attempting to desperately cover for the Attorney General; enter backwoods retard turned backwoods high government official Rep. Lamar Smith of Texas, who's eager to put this mess behind us and get to the hootenanny.
"The list of accusations has mushroomed, but the evidence of wrongdoing has not," Rep. Lamar said. "If there are no fish in this lake, we should reel in our lines of questions, dock our empty boat and turn to more pressing issues."
As 'country fried political analogies' go, this would appear to be what may be the first in a golden age of breathtakingly stupid attempts to turn the narrative of a systematic rape of the Justice Department into a rerun of 'Hee-Haw'.
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